Last night I dreamt I was a lesbian. Believe me when I say
it wasn’t a pleasant dream. When I woke
it reminded me how in my teen years I questioned if I actually were one.
I questioned it because in high school I was constantly told
that I was one. And at a time when you’re
still finding your place in the world and when who you are, and what you are,
is based on what others tell you, naturally you’d question it. So I did.
I began to assume that as I was very close to some of my
girlfriends and boys were never interested in me that I must have been. I wasn’t
of course, but I figured I may have been and just hadn’t fully realized it yet.
This memory of mine today reminded me how important it is to
believe in yourself. To trust in your own self, your feelings and what they
tell you. Deep down I knew I liked boys
but there was still this fear that those who told me I was a lesbian knew
better. And perhaps because I did like
my girlfriends as much as I did, I was in fact a lesbian and should probably
learn to accept it. Imagine if I had!
No one ever knows you better than you know yourself and what
I’ve since learnt is to trust in that person. To trust in you. To never let another
person tell you how you should live your life and what it is you should be
doing with it. You and only you make that choice, always <3
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