I am that love

I will often sit and reflect on my life and just as often, mum.

Tonight I was thinking of my mother and her love for me when I realised something. A secret desire and wish of mine. Well it's not so much a wish but more so something I strive for always. And that is ...

For my boys to feel as loved by me as I did by my mum.

And that there is why I parent the way I do. I always carry her love with me. I remember how no matter what I did, whether it wrong, right, or stupid, I still felt so incredibly loved by her. Always.

Was one of the most beautiful things I've experienced.

I miss her love some days, mainly the days I'm needing it most but then I remember ... I am that love now. It's been passed on to me heart emoticon

I am not God

Trust is sitting at a table with a red back spider underneath it.

Some would say I'm crazy. Asking for trouble. I however know this sweet little lady will not hurt me because I will not hurt her.

I met her yesterday when I, regrettably now, removed a massive egg sack I had discovered whilst cleaning our little table out front.

Reflecting on it later I wished I hadn't binned the sack and instead replanted it elsewhere.

Perhaps her babies will still survive? I hope so.

Because I am not God. I don't decide what lives and what doesn't. It's not up to me. Which is why as I write this she sits with me.

I also know she won't hurt me because she is close to death. Spiders will most often die shortly after laying their eggs. I also poked her yesterday to see if she were alive and she wasn't aggressive or that responsive, she was weak. She is waiting to die. Her job is done and it's her time. Well the job was done, until I removed it.

I know Red Backs are dangerous, more so than other spiders we have so commonly in Australia. But why should that make them less deserving of life!

It is something I will admit here and now that has bothered me for some time on Facebook. All the photos of people's house spiders and later the comment saying I killed it. Arrgh.

It also bothers me that Luke kills spiders, but not all spiders only the 'dangerous ones'. Does that make him any different to racists and other discriminating people. I question it. Why do some spiders get escorted out our house and others the verdict of death.

Perhaps I'm not like most people and I'm ok with that. But I believe in life. I am for life and I don't believe in taking a life, especially when it's not mine to take.

If a dangerous spider where in my bed or house. I would have it removed not killed. And as Luke wouldn't remove the redback for me ( he wanted to kill it) I am siting at this table proving to myself and others that unless you harm a living thing, threaten and or provoke it, it shouldn't bother you. Why would the spider bite me? Why on earth would it want too unless I started sticking my fingers at it!

Nicole. Pro spiders. I may start a campaign one day ha ha. But it gets me. And I've said it. I've admitted how much all of your killing spider photos irk me. Sorry.

Im grateful for spiders. Did you know if we didn't have spiders we'd all chock on insects!

Heartbreak

My rumi quote for today said ...

"You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens".

I truly believe this. I believe the only way a heart can love fully is for it to be opened. It can either be opened by us and a conscious effort to do so everyday. Or by another person breaking it open for us.

Either way it is to be opened to let love in and like I believe the only way out, is through. I believe the only way in is via a opening. A break ♥

Life is like a box of chocolates

I left a box of chocolates on a bench seat today whilst I was out with Gabe. On it a note I had written which read …

“These are for you. I have left this here for you to find today in the hope it makes you smile and feel loved. Because you are”.

I had bought the pre wrapped chocolate truffles a few months ago as they were on special at the time for only $5 a box. I bought two. I have since given the other away (to the hotel receptionists when I recently spent a night in Sydney) but I still had the one remaining. Which, I had completely forgotten about until yesterday when I saw them in my cupboard.

So today I gifted them. To no one in particular, but I'm sure to the perfect person. The person who was most needing it today.

I trust it landed in the hands it needed too heart emoticon

A Coffee Would Be Lovely

You see this man I just met him. He is homeless and I just bought him a coffee. Now I am not posting this to show you all how great a person I am, but rather to prove how harmless and beautiful those that have nothing are.

So I'm in Sydney at the moment. Spending the night as I have something on tomorrow. Walking the streets just moments ago I passed a dark alley and saw this man just sitting there head down and sad. I smiled at him as I walked past and noticed, that unlike the many other homeless around, this guy didn't have a hat or cup out asking for money.

As I passed something made me stop and go back and approach him so I did. I wanted to help him somehow amd had purposely bought some money with me to bless someone.

I approached him and said

" Can I help you in anyway"? "Is there something I could get you?".

And you know what he said.

" A coffee would be lovely love".

So I said

 "Ok I'll get you a coffee" and started to head off looking for a coffee when he got up and joined me.

"Oh your coming with me" I remarked.

He said

"Yes. Go in here at the 7 eleven coffees are only $1".

That is all he wanted. That is all he asked of me. A man who has absolutely nothing and sleeps on streets.

He was so grateful, kept calling me an angel when all I did was buy him a coffee for $1.

I stayed with him for a while in the 7 Eleven as he made his coffee and waited for the machine to be refilled and listened to his story. We all have a story.

This man taught me never to judge anyone. You don't know anyone's story, only your own. I am so proud of me for following my heart and connecting with a homeless man. A homeless man who when he looked at me with those sad eyes, only wanted love, to be heard, and not a coffee heart emoticon

School Yard Kindness

I volunteer every Friday morning to help out in my sons classroom at his school. I love it. But today I thought of taking it a step further and adding some random acts of kindness. So I took along a few $1 coins with me and scattered them around the playground for children to find at lunch.

Can you imagine how excited they will be when they find a $1! 

Although only a $1 to a kid that is like us finding $20, its a big deal. Such a small little act but one that I know will have caused a little happiness today. We can all make a difference and I like to think that today I made a few children happy. 

I volunteer every Friday morning to help out in my sons classroom at his school. I love it. But today I thought of taking it a step further and adding some random acts of kindness. So I took along a few $1 coins with me and scattered them around the playground for children to find at lunch.

Can you imagine how excited they will be when they find a $1! Although only a $1 to a kid that is like us finding $20, its a big deal. Plus they can perhaps buy themselves a little treat from the school canteen. - See more at: http://www.kindspring.org/my/#sthash.Dwib9TwL.dpuf

I volunteer every Friday morning to help out in my sons classroom at his school. I love it. But today I thought of taking it a step further and adding some random acts of kindness. So I took along a few $1 coins with me and scattered them around the playground for children to find at lunch.

Can you imagine how excited they will be when they find a $1! Although only a $1 to a kid that is like us finding $20, its a big deal. Plus they can perhaps buy themselves a little treat from the school canteen. - See more at: http://www.kindspring.org/my/#sthash.Dwib9TwL.dpuf

I volunteer every Friday morning to help out in my sons classroom at his school. I love it. But today I thought of taking it a step further and adding some random acts of kindness. So I took along a few $1 coins with me and scattered them around the playground for children to find at lunch.

Can you imagine how excited they will be when they find a $1! Although only a $1 to a kid that is like us finding $20, its a big deal. Plus they can perhaps buy themselves a little treat from the school canteen. - See more at: http://www.kindspring.org/my/#sthash.Dwib9TwL.dpuf

Flowers Say More Than Words

There is a lady named Kim who works at the nursing home I visit weekly. She is in her 50’s and is in charge of one of the morning tea trolleys. She also has down syndrome.

She’s beautiful and I love her. Every Monday when my two year old and I visit she always makes time for my son. She stops hands him a biscuit, sometimes two, and continues on her way. She is the only one that does.

So today I wanted to express just how much my son and I appreciate her and all she does, in more than just words. So on my way in this morning I stopped and bought this small bouquet of pink roses to gift her. Needless to say she loved them. She wasn't expecting it at all and although I’ve thanked her many times before, today these flowers said more than my words ever could.

I like to imagine that right now these pink roses are sitting somewhere in her home and every time she looks at them she is reminded just how much she means to someone and how special she is. Because that is exactly what they were intended to do.

What A Fall Taught Me

My two year old had a really bad fall at McDonalds today.

You see the set of 9 yellow cubes in the picture? My two year old was playing up next to those when somehow he completely fell threw them all straight on his back. I screamed. I was not calm.

I am grateful he is ok. He is small. Well below average for his age, but never would I have thought he could fit through and fall through a gap of that size. I am so grateful today that 1. He is ok. 2. The lovely staff did all they could to help by offering him a toy and drink and 3. For the lesson it taught me.

After a cuddle and some love he got back up there and started playing again. The fall was in the past, he was over it and he was back to enjoying life. I however was still shaking, still replaying the scene over in my head.

Why do we do this?

We torture ourselves. Be reliving past events. Children they don’t. They move on and get back to enjoying life. The life that is right now, right here,not the life 5 minutes earlier when you lay in pain on your back. What a lesson today and what a beautiful teacher my little toddler is on life.

There is a Japanese proverb I love it goes … “Fall down seven times. Stand up eight”.

Today my son lived it.

Life Is For Living (and lying on Grass!)

You know what I did today…?   

Went outside and laid in the sun on some grass. Yep. I really do have the life.

Some days (like today) I beat myself up about it too,  telling myself I should be doing something more constructive and not out here lying in the sun. But you know what…? Isn’t this what life is all about - enjoying it!

Shouldn’t we all live each day doing what we love and enjoying all we’ve been given? Which for me today that was green healthy grass and a warm sunny day.

The morning I spent cleaning bathrooms and making chocolate biscuits with my 2 year old, so why not spend the afternoon laying in this beautiful Autumn sun? Why feel guilty about it? 

This crazy guilt and hard time I give myself must stop!

Yes chores and work need to be done but what about the rest of the time? Why do we then cram these bits in with more ‘jobs’? Life is all about balance. Yes we must work, clean, and do things that need doing but it’s also just as important to do nothing!

Perhaps all this rambling is to make myself feel better about laying out in the sun for an hour today with my toddler and the dog next door. But you know what? Its worked, I feel better about it.

Today was a good day, a constructive day. My vitamin D levels are soaring and I made one 4 legged girl and 2 year old boy happy and should that be all that matters?

Crocodile And A Pelican.

I saw this picture earlier and wanted to share because as soon as I saw it thought what a beautiful lesson in life this is. A Crocodile and a Pelican. Two animals and creatures so completely different to each other yet living together in harmony.

One could have the other for lunch and satisfy his own need and greed at any minute but instead is allowing him to ride on his back. That there is love, that there is how we should all endeavor to live our lives. To see others not as the enemy, different, or a means to gain for ourselves but as someone we can help sail through this life and journey together.

Richard

 I know a man with no legs. His name is Richard and having no legs, naturally, he is in a wheelchair, but that isn’t the point or relevant to this story.

I’ve come to know Richard quite well and have known him for about a year. Every week I visit a local nursing home and sit with and chat to the many residents there, including Richard.

Richard loves iced coffees, smoking and puzzles. Boy does he LOVE puzzles! He is actually quite incredible with them. He can complete a 1000 piece puzzle in under 2 weeks. I’m not sure if that’s impressive but to me it is. Then again he does have a lot of time on his hands being in a nursing home.

As often as I can I’ll bring Richard in an iced coffee but what I love most is buying him puzzles! I don’t do it often, 3-4 times a year. Every time there is a bookfair on here I pick up a few 2nd hand puzzles for a few dollars. Last week I did just that and today I was able to gift the puzzles to Richard.

Now, this is the thing. I never actually give them to him, instead I go to his table set out only for him and his puzzles and place the new puzzles on the table and walk away. He has no idea it’s me and I like it that way.

A few weeks later I’ll see him working on the new puzzle and telling me how he found a new one and how happy it made him.

Do you know how happy this makes me?

To know that I made him happy. That something I did, something so small can bring another person such happiness makes me just about weep. There is nothing I could ever buy that would give me the joy that giving joy to another person and making them happy does.

It’s such a simple thing but I love it, and it always has me thinking of all the little things we can do to make anothers day.

know a man with no legs. His name is Richard and having no legs, naturally, he is in a wheelchair, but that isn’t the point or relevant to this story.

I’ve come to know Richard quite well and have known him for about a year. Every week I visit a local nursing home and sit with and chat to the many residents there, including Richard.

Richard loves iced coffees, smoking and puzzles. Boy does he LOVE puzzles! He is actually quite incredible with them. He can complete a 1000 piece puzzle in under 2 weeks. I’m not sure if that’s impressive but to me it is. Then again he does have a lot of time on his hands being in a nursing home.

As often as I can I’ll bring Richard in an iced coffee but what I love most is buying him puzzles! I don’t do it often, 3-4 times a year. Every time there is a bookfair on here I pick up a few 2nd hand puzzles for a few dollars. Last week I did just that and today I was able to gift the puzzles to Richard.

Now, this is the thing. I never actually give them to him, instead I go to his table set out only for him and his puzzles and place the new puzzles on the table and walk away. He has no idea it’s me and I like it that way.

A few weeks later I’ll see him working on the new puzzle and telling me how he found a new one and how happy it made him. Do you know how happy this makes me? To know that I made him happy. That something I did, something so small can bring another person such happiness makes me just about weep. There is nothing I could ever buy that would give me the joy that giving joy to another person and making them happy does.

It’s such a simple thing but I love it, and it always has me thinking of all the little things we can do to make anothers day - See more at: http://www.kindspring.org/my/story.php?sid=53292#sthash.Wmn2BMmT.dpuf

know a man with no legs. His name is Richard and having no legs, naturally, he is in a wheelchair, but that isn’t the point or relevant to this story.

I’ve come to know Richard quite well and have known him for about a year. Every week I visit a local nursing home and sit with and chat to the many residents there, including Richard.

Richard loves iced coffees, smoking and puzzles. Boy does he LOVE puzzles! He is actually quite incredible with them. He can complete a 1000 piece puzzle in under 2 weeks. I’m not sure if that’s impressive but to me it is. Then again he does have a lot of time on his hands being in a nursing home.

As often as I can I’ll bring Richard in an iced coffee but what I love most is buying him puzzles! I don’t do it often, 3-4 times a year. Every time there is a bookfair on here I pick up a few 2nd hand puzzles for a few dollars. Last week I did just that and today I was able to gift the puzzles to Richard.

Now, this is the thing. I never actually give them to him, instead I go to his table set out only for him and his puzzles and place the new puzzles on the table and walk away. He has no idea it’s me and I like it that way.

A few weeks later I’ll see him working on the new puzzle and telling me how he found a new one and how happy it made him. Do you know how happy this makes me? To know that I made him happy. That something I did, something so small can bring another person such happiness makes me just about weep. There is nothing I could ever buy that would give me the joy that giving joy to another person and making them happy does.

It’s such a simple thing but I love it, and it always has me thinking of all the little things we can do to make anothers day - See more at: http://www.kindspring.org/my/story.php?sid=53292#sthash.Wmn2BMmT.dpuf

I know a man with no legs. His name is Richard and having no legs, naturally, he is in a wheelchair, but that isn’t the point or relevant to this story.

I’ve come to know Richard quite well and have known him for about a year. Every week I visit a local nursing home and sit with and chat to the many residents there, including Richard.

Richard loves iced coffees, smoking and puzzles. Boy does he LOVE puzzles! He is actually quite incredible with them. He can complete a 1000 piece puzzle in under 2 weeks. I’m not sure if that’s impressive but to me it is. Then again he does have a lot of time on his hands being in a nursing home.

As often as I can I’ll bring Richard in an iced coffee but what I love most is buying him puzzles! I don’t do it often, 3-4 times a year. Every time there is a bookfair on here I pick up a few 2nd hand puzzles for a few dollars. Last week I did just that and today I was able to gift the puzzles to Richard.

Now, this is the thing. I never actually give them to him, instead I go to his table set out only for him and his puzzles and place the new puzzles on the table and walk away. He has no idea it’s me and I like it that way.

A few weeks later I’ll see him working on the new puzzle and telling me how he found a new one and how happy it made him. Do you know how happy this makes me? To know that I made him happy. That something I did, something so small can bring another person such happiness makes me just about weep. There is nothing I could ever buy that would give me the joy that giving joy to another person and making them happy does.

It’s such a simple thing but I love it, and it always has me thinking of all the little things we can do to make anothers day - See more at: http://www.kindspring.org/my/story.php?sid=53292#sthash.NiO1WnG9.dpuf

I know a man with no legs. His name is Richard and having no legs, naturally, he is in a wheelchair, but that isn’t the point or relevant to this story.

I’ve come to know Richard quite well and have known him for about a year. Every week I visit a local nursing home and sit with and chat to the many residents there, including Richard.

Richard loves iced coffees, smoking and puzzles. Boy does he LOVE puzzles! He is actually quite incredible with them. He can complete a 1000 piece puzzle in under 2 weeks. I’m not sure if that’s impressive but to me it is. Then again he does have a lot of time on his hands being in a nursing home.

As often as I can I’ll bring Richard in an iced coffee but what I love most is buying him puzzles! I don’t do it often, 3-4 times a year. Every time there is a bookfair on here I pick up a few 2nd hand puzzles for a few dollars. Last week I did just that and today I was able to gift the puzzles to Richard.

Now, this is the thing. I never actually give them to him, instead I go to his table set out only for him and his puzzles and place the new puzzles on the table and walk away. He has no idea it’s me and I like it that way.

A few weeks later I’ll see him working on the new puzzle and telling me how he found a new one and how happy it made him. Do you know how happy this makes me? To know that I made him happy. That something I did, something so small can bring another person such happiness makes me just about weep. There is nothing I could ever buy that would give me the joy that giving joy to another person and making them happy does.

It’s such a simple thing but I love it, and it always has me thinking of all the little things we can do to make anothers day - See more at: http://www.kindspring.org/my/story.php?sid=53292#sthash.NiO1WnG9.dpuf

Love In A Clothes Dryer

You know what I love ...? How every time I use my clothes dryer I am reminded of my mother and her love for me.

We never use clothes dyers and instead always hang our washing on the line. Living where I live it hardly rains and is often warm so it has always worked for us. We therefore viewed it (or more so I agreed to view it) as an expense we didn't need.

It has rained all this week and today I had no choice but to use our clothes dryer and when doing so I felt so grateful (like I have said this gratitude thing hits me anytime, any place). I felt grateful to own a dryer when I remembered why I owned one. My mum bought it.

My other half never would never ever have agreed to spending money on a dryer so my beautiful mum, god bless her, bought me one when my second son was born. She told me it was my baby gift and even apologised at the time for giving me such a crappy gift (which it so clearly wasn't!!)

Mum told me that now we had become a family of 4 I'd be needing it with the amount of washing I'd soon be doing. It sat in the garage for most the time she was alive, too big to fit in our small laundry and was hardly used.

Today however and in the past few years (mainly since she has left) it is used more frequently and every time it is I am reminded of her.

Its funny the things that become dear to you when a loved one passes. Sometimes its something as boring as a clothes dryer.

It has shown me though that we never do know how a gift we give to another will touch someone some day. I never would have thought all those years ago that a clothes dryer would hold as much sentimental value as this one does to me.

Free Coffee. On Me.

Someone was treated to a free coffee today. I don't know who they were or what they ordered, all I know is that it was on me.

I wanted to do something nice for someone and randomly whilst at the shops today went to buy myself a chai latte. I've heard about the people buying coffees for others before, a pay it forward type movement, but have never done it myself. Today I did.

I bought my chai latte and whilst it was being made tried to build up my nerve to do it. The cafe was empty at the time which helped me as I knew I could gift the coffee anonymously.

I looked at the menu and noticed regular/medium sized coffees were $4 and checked my purse and I had $4. So as the young guy called my name and handed me my chai latte I handed him the $4 and told him I wanted to buy the next persons coffee. He looked shocked and said "Are you sure?" I told him I was and handed him the $4 explaining that I noticed medium coffees were $4 and most people would probably order that size and asked him to gift the next person who did with the free coffee. My only condition was that he tell them a stranger had paid for their coffee today as an act of kindness to make their day.

Well you should have seen this young guys face! It completely lit up and his smile was so genuinely happy and I bet couldn't wait to do it. That there was worth it for me. He told me I was so kind and I told him I like to do this sort of thing occasionally to show others there is kindness in this world.

It was only small act I know but can you imagine how much it would have made that next persons day? I also hope the young guy today shares what happened and maybe even some day feels inspired to do the same.

Try it some time. You won't be disappointed!

You Deserve It!

 Earlier today I was in a store purchasing a birthday gift for a friend and had a choice of two items. One was cheaper and overall packaged nicer to give as a gift, the other more expensive and in my opinion better.

I stood there for a moment and decided whether or not go with the more pricey item and splurge, or the cheaper one and save. I picked up the cheaper one and went to walk away when I stopped, put it back and grabbed the expensive one.

My reasoning ... she deserves it and deserves to be spoilt. I thought about this more later that day and realised that we all deserve to be spoilt, each and every one of us and that includes me. But how many of us actually do? I also wandered if I were buying the item for myself which I would choose?

So splurge and spoil. It’s a service to you. Its loving to you and you my dear deserve it.