I am not God

Trust is sitting at a table with a red back spider underneath it.

Some would say I'm crazy. Asking for trouble. I however know this sweet little lady will not hurt me because I will not hurt her.

I met her yesterday when I, regrettably now, removed a massive egg sack I had discovered whilst cleaning our little table out front.

Reflecting on it later I wished I hadn't binned the sack and instead replanted it elsewhere.

Perhaps her babies will still survive? I hope so.

Because I am not God. I don't decide what lives and what doesn't. It's not up to me. Which is why as I write this she sits with me.

I also know she won't hurt me because she is close to death. Spiders will most often die shortly after laying their eggs. I also poked her yesterday to see if she were alive and she wasn't aggressive or that responsive, she was weak. She is waiting to die. Her job is done and it's her time. Well the job was done, until I removed it.

I know Red Backs are dangerous, more so than other spiders we have so commonly in Australia. But why should that make them less deserving of life!

It is something I will admit here and now that has bothered me for some time on Facebook. All the photos of people's house spiders and later the comment saying I killed it. Arrgh.

It also bothers me that Luke kills spiders, but not all spiders only the 'dangerous ones'. Does that make him any different to racists and other discriminating people. I question it. Why do some spiders get escorted out our house and others the verdict of death.

Perhaps I'm not like most people and I'm ok with that. But I believe in life. I am for life and I don't believe in taking a life, especially when it's not mine to take.

If a dangerous spider where in my bed or house. I would have it removed not killed. And as Luke wouldn't remove the redback for me ( he wanted to kill it) I am siting at this table proving to myself and others that unless you harm a living thing, threaten and or provoke it, it shouldn't bother you. Why would the spider bite me? Why on earth would it want too unless I started sticking my fingers at it!

Nicole. Pro spiders. I may start a campaign one day ha ha. But it gets me. And I've said it. I've admitted how much all of your killing spider photos irk me. Sorry.

Im grateful for spiders. Did you know if we didn't have spiders we'd all chock on insects!

A Coffee Would Be Lovely

You see this man I just met him. He is homeless and I just bought him a coffee. Now I am not posting this to show you all how great a person I am, but rather to prove how harmless and beautiful those that have nothing are.

So I'm in Sydney at the moment. Spending the night as I have something on tomorrow. Walking the streets just moments ago I passed a dark alley and saw this man just sitting there head down and sad. I smiled at him as I walked past and noticed, that unlike the many other homeless around, this guy didn't have a hat or cup out asking for money.

As I passed something made me stop and go back and approach him so I did. I wanted to help him somehow amd had purposely bought some money with me to bless someone.

I approached him and said

" Can I help you in anyway"? "Is there something I could get you?".

And you know what he said.

" A coffee would be lovely love".

So I said

 "Ok I'll get you a coffee" and started to head off looking for a coffee when he got up and joined me.

"Oh your coming with me" I remarked.

He said

"Yes. Go in here at the 7 eleven coffees are only $1".

That is all he wanted. That is all he asked of me. A man who has absolutely nothing and sleeps on streets.

He was so grateful, kept calling me an angel when all I did was buy him a coffee for $1.

I stayed with him for a while in the 7 Eleven as he made his coffee and waited for the machine to be refilled and listened to his story. We all have a story.

This man taught me never to judge anyone. You don't know anyone's story, only your own. I am so proud of me for following my heart and connecting with a homeless man. A homeless man who when he looked at me with those sad eyes, only wanted love, to be heard, and not a coffee heart emoticon

What A Fall Taught Me

My two year old had a really bad fall at McDonalds today.

You see the set of 9 yellow cubes in the picture? My two year old was playing up next to those when somehow he completely fell threw them all straight on his back. I screamed. I was not calm.

I am grateful he is ok. He is small. Well below average for his age, but never would I have thought he could fit through and fall through a gap of that size. I am so grateful today that 1. He is ok. 2. The lovely staff did all they could to help by offering him a toy and drink and 3. For the lesson it taught me.

After a cuddle and some love he got back up there and started playing again. The fall was in the past, he was over it and he was back to enjoying life. I however was still shaking, still replaying the scene over in my head.

Why do we do this?

We torture ourselves. Be reliving past events. Children they don’t. They move on and get back to enjoying life. The life that is right now, right here,not the life 5 minutes earlier when you lay in pain on your back. What a lesson today and what a beautiful teacher my little toddler is on life.

There is a Japanese proverb I love it goes … “Fall down seven times. Stand up eight”.

Today my son lived it.

Crocodile And A Pelican.

I saw this picture earlier and wanted to share because as soon as I saw it thought what a beautiful lesson in life this is. A Crocodile and a Pelican. Two animals and creatures so completely different to each other yet living together in harmony.

One could have the other for lunch and satisfy his own need and greed at any minute but instead is allowing him to ride on his back. That there is love, that there is how we should all endeavor to live our lives. To see others not as the enemy, different, or a means to gain for ourselves but as someone we can help sail through this life and journey together.

Caring For Another Mans Children.

You know what I love .... seeing a man care for and provide for children that are not his.

In the supermarket earlier I passed a girl I knew and her two children. Pushing the trolley was a man who I know for a fact is not their father. He was playing with them, kissing them and treating them as though they were his own.

When they time came to pay for the weeks worth of groceries I watched as he pulled out his wallet and paid for them all.

I personally believe it takes a strong man, a good man, an amazing man, to love a woman and her children, and to provide for another man's kids.

That man today earnt my respect. Bless him and his heart.

Starting Conversations

You know what I love? How kindness and love spreads.

I was in the supermarket earlier today to pick up a few things. A lovely older lady served me and as she showed interest in my 2 year old (he was climbing up and out of the trolley) I decided to start a conversation with her. We spoke about her grandchildren and how crazy they were and children in general.

Not long after another older couple join the cue and as I pay and leave I notice that they begin a conversation and carry on from where we left off, grandchildren. The whole mood and atmosphere in the line changed. One friendly conversation changed it.

I have learnt people are dying for connection. To be spoken to and seen. It doesn't cost a thing to say hello how are you, and really mean it. Yet how many of us do? The days I do it always reminds me how much I must do it more.

Give Away The Old.

What I love ... charity.

Our neighbors across the road are in the process of moving and today I watched as the Salvation Army truck pulled up and loaded some very nice high quality leather couches. Couches this couple could have quite easily sold yet instead they gave it away for nothing to the Salvos.

I too choose to give to charities as I often as I can. Only a few days ago whilst cleaning the bathroom I noticed Gabe's baby seat he no longer uses. In that spur of the moment random moments I have I decided to take a photo of it and placed it on a for sale facebook page. I listed it as free to anyone who feels they need and would benefit from it. An hour later I had a young mother of 2 at my door taking this much loved bath seat from me.

Both her and her husband had contacted me and told how this seat came at the perfect time. Bath time for them had become a huge hassle and battle with their almost 3 year old and 6 month old. The husband was constantly trying to juggle the both of them. He told me only the night before he was thinking how handy it would be to have a bath seat. Then the very next day he logs onto facebook and the first thing he sees is my post listing a bath seat for free.

Sometimes life just works out and I love it when it does. I love how on that day at that particular time I decided to clean our bathrooms and in a random moment of me decided to put the baby bath seat up for sale and list it for free. It reminded me how we all hold onto items that for whatever reason we no longer use and no longer serve us. Items that when given away and shared benefit others in a way that it never could us. I love giving.

Kind Words

I am grateful for the kind words of others. Those comments, messages, conversations and exchanges we have that leave us better off than when we started. You know the ones. They uplift you, inspire you and encourage you.

I am grateful for those words especially on the days I need them most. Which so happens to be the days I receive them the most, or perhaps its only these days I allow them to sink deep and choose to take note.

Either way they remind me I am never alone. That someone out there not only hears me but cares.

Treasure your friends and remember it only takes one friend for you to never be alone. Just one.

Recovering Complain-aholic

We all know someone with cancer or who has had cancer. And what about the children. Those beautiful, young, strong spirited children, who show us how to smile in the face of adversity. 

Children who never complain and are put through more than any child should when young. Their childhoods stripped away and replaced with hospitals, injections and illness.

Today I wrote a card to a young boy who is fighting cancer. He will celebrate his 10^th birthday in hospital as he has many of his previous ones.

How can we not appreciate our own children, their health and ours when we see so many that aren’t as fortunate. As a past and recovering chronic complainer I can no longer complain about such idle things. Life is a gift, your health is a gift, the eyes you’re reading this with. A gift. There all gifts.

It’s hard sometimes not to get caught up in everyday problems but when I remember that others out there have real problems and real issues it always puts my own into perspective - mine are so small and pointless in comparison.

The things I can complain about sometimes are embarrassing to admit, but as I mentioned I’m in the process of giving that up. I want to embrace life not condemn it. 

No Umbrella Is Wasted - Random Act Of Kindness

A few weeks ago I was in a thrift store, a place that sells second items and clothing. I was so happy and grateful to have bought so many things for only $7. Included amongst those items were some umbrellas.

I bought a few thinking we had none when in fact we already owned two. I held on to the newly purchased ones knowing that they would some day come in handy. Today one did.

We experienced some very heavy rain today and in it a young gentleman came to my door introducing and trying to sell a new service which offers fresh produce straight to your door. I was not interested however I was interested in getting this poor young man dry. He was dripping wet from being out in all this rain.

As soon as I saw him I knew what I had to do and remembered those umbrellas I had bought, so I offered him one. How happy he was and how happy I was to finally have an opportunity to put one of those umbrellas to good use.

It made me realise today that nothing we do is by accident and that there is always an opportunity for kindness. We are all here only to help our fellow humans in whatever way we can. Even if it is only offering a second hand umbrella.

Depositing Kindness (and Donuts)

My mum worked in the Bank. She was the Bank. She loved her job at the bank. Everyone that knew her loved her. The young staff especially loved her. They would tell me how crazy my mum was and how she would make work fun, singing, dancing and doing crazy things and speaking her mind. Mum was famous for it, or perhaps infamous. She said it like was and people loved her for it. She said what everyone else was thinking but too afraid to say. Not mum. She said it!

We all loved her so last Friday when I visited the Bank where my mum once worked I wanted to do something nice. So whilst out shopping I bought one bag of cinnamon and one bag of sugar donuts and took them in and gave them to all the staff at the branch my mum once worked. I told them my mother use to work there and how much she loved it and how I wanted to gift them with morning tea on behalf of mum.

At first they were surprised and shocked as most people are when an act of kindness is bestowed upon them but that soon as passed and was replaced with gratitude and smiles.

I did this that day because I miss mum so much, because I love mum so much and because I thank her every day for inspiring me to be a better person.

Death Will Teach You

You know it often takes another’s life to be taken from you for you to be grateful for your own. For me it was my mothers. I of course knew she wouldn’t live forever and would someday leave this planet but nothing can prepare you for that moment and how it will affect you. For me personally it’s been a blessing, because I choose it to be.

Her death was a wake up call to me, a reminder smacked straight into my face that none of us here will live forever and that no one’s future is guaranteed. From that day forward I began to live my life differently. I saw everything as so impermanent and everything I did see I knew would someday be gone. That’s when I chose to live everyday in gratitude for it all!

I’ve always known my mother was the greatest gift to me but never would I have guessed that in her death she’d leave me wit the greatest gift of all – an appreciation and love for life.

Life is short it really is, so enjoy it and be grateful. And remember in every moment you have a choice. To be thankful for what you have or complain and whinge about the little things that in your death, and the death of those closest to you, will not matter.

I Saw The Most Beautiful Thing...

I saw the most beautiful thing this morning.

I have started eating my breakfast outside each morning I love it, especially on these warm summer mornings. This morning was no different. I was enjoying my breakfast listening to the birds singing when I notice Ben (our cat) dash outside. Next thing I hear is an almighty squeal, squawk and horrible sound. I knew Ben had got a bird.

I jumped up and in Ben’s mouth was a beautiful pink Galah. I knew I had to do something. I looked for something to throw at Ben but there was nothing. My next instinct was to kick Ben to free the bird. Yes I was actually going to kick him. But as soon as I got up to get Ben he bolted, squawking Galah still in his mouth flapping like crazy. No way could I get or catch him now.

Next thing out of nowhere came 3-4 black and white magpies all swooping in on Ben, then two white cockatoos joined in. I had never seen anything like it. Ben dropped the pink Galah and it flew free.

All 10-15 of these different species of birds then perched in trees around our home and started squawking and squealing this time a different sound than before. It was more like a war chant!

After all the commotion of this I return to my breakfast and just sat there. It was one of the most beautiful things I have seen in a long time. All these birds came out of nowhere to help another bird, not of its kind or species, but another of its fellow feathered companions. This collection of birds normally do not associate or flock together but today at the front of my place they did.

It reminded me how we as humans drop all race colour and all our labels in the face of adversity and life and death situations. 9/11, bushfires, earthquakes, massacres etc. During these times we are not our color, race or sex. We are one. Part of this big earth family we call existence.

The birds this morning demonstrated that sort of love. The love of being in this world and all its troubles and pain together.

Love YOURSELF As You Love Others.

I heard and read again today “love others as you love yourself” and I couldn’t help but question it and think it should in fact be the other way around … “love yourself as you love others”.

I’m not sure about you but I know (in the past) I have always treated other people much nicer than I do myself. No way would I ever tell someone they are stupid, fat, ugly, hopeless, could do much better etc yet this is exactly what I told myself all the time.

Am I right? Think about it. Think about how you treat your friends and loved ones. Now think about how you treat yourself. Is it equal? Are you as supportive, kind and loving to yourself as you are to a stranger in the street or your best friend? You should be!

So that’s why I say “love YOURSELF as you do others” and not the other way around.

Fed By Spoon.

I took Olga out over the weekend, the elderly lady who I visit weekly through a volunteer program and whilst out I happened to feed her with a spoon. As I was feeding her chocolate cake I had a moment and realised that this, right here, right now, is love. I had an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for her, me and all of this.  How in life as babies we are all fed from spoons and yet later in life it returns again, this time being fed by the kindness of others.

As I was feeding Olga and watching her happily accept it from me I started thinking how it was only a year ago we met. We were complete strangers and now here we are out sharing chocolate cake and spoons.  

People assume we are family and I’m her granddaughter and I love that. I love the bond that two complete strangers can form in such a short time. Love is that bond and I believe it ties us all whether we are related, strangers or know each other at all.