I am that love

I will often sit and reflect on my life and just as often, mum.

Tonight I was thinking of my mother and her love for me when I realised something. A secret desire and wish of mine. Well it's not so much a wish but more so something I strive for always. And that is ...

For my boys to feel as loved by me as I did by my mum.

And that there is why I parent the way I do. I always carry her love with me. I remember how no matter what I did, whether it wrong, right, or stupid, I still felt so incredibly loved by her. Always.

Was one of the most beautiful things I've experienced.

I miss her love some days, mainly the days I'm needing it most but then I remember ... I am that love now. It's been passed on to me heart emoticon

Depositing Kindness (and Donuts)

My mum worked in the Bank. She was the Bank. She loved her job at the bank. Everyone that knew her loved her. The young staff especially loved her. They would tell me how crazy my mum was and how she would make work fun, singing, dancing and doing crazy things and speaking her mind. Mum was famous for it, or perhaps infamous. She said it like was and people loved her for it. She said what everyone else was thinking but too afraid to say. Not mum. She said it!

We all loved her so last Friday when I visited the Bank where my mum once worked I wanted to do something nice. So whilst out shopping I bought one bag of cinnamon and one bag of sugar donuts and took them in and gave them to all the staff at the branch my mum once worked. I told them my mother use to work there and how much she loved it and how I wanted to gift them with morning tea on behalf of mum.

At first they were surprised and shocked as most people are when an act of kindness is bestowed upon them but that soon as passed and was replaced with gratitude and smiles.

I did this that day because I miss mum so much, because I love mum so much and because I thank her every day for inspiring me to be a better person.

Death Will Teach You

You know it often takes another’s life to be taken from you for you to be grateful for your own. For me it was my mothers. I of course knew she wouldn’t live forever and would someday leave this planet but nothing can prepare you for that moment and how it will affect you. For me personally it’s been a blessing, because I choose it to be.

Her death was a wake up call to me, a reminder smacked straight into my face that none of us here will live forever and that no one’s future is guaranteed. From that day forward I began to live my life differently. I saw everything as so impermanent and everything I did see I knew would someday be gone. That’s when I chose to live everyday in gratitude for it all!

I’ve always known my mother was the greatest gift to me but never would I have guessed that in her death she’d leave me wit the greatest gift of all – an appreciation and love for life.

Life is short it really is, so enjoy it and be grateful. And remember in every moment you have a choice. To be thankful for what you have or complain and whinge about the little things that in your death, and the death of those closest to you, will not matter.