What A Fall Taught Me

My two year old had a really bad fall at McDonalds today.

You see the set of 9 yellow cubes in the picture? My two year old was playing up next to those when somehow he completely fell threw them all straight on his back. I screamed. I was not calm.

I am grateful he is ok. He is small. Well below average for his age, but never would I have thought he could fit through and fall through a gap of that size. I am so grateful today that 1. He is ok. 2. The lovely staff did all they could to help by offering him a toy and drink and 3. For the lesson it taught me.

After a cuddle and some love he got back up there and started playing again. The fall was in the past, he was over it and he was back to enjoying life. I however was still shaking, still replaying the scene over in my head.

Why do we do this?

We torture ourselves. Be reliving past events. Children they don’t. They move on and get back to enjoying life. The life that is right now, right here,not the life 5 minutes earlier when you lay in pain on your back. What a lesson today and what a beautiful teacher my little toddler is on life.

There is a Japanese proverb I love it goes … “Fall down seven times. Stand up eight”.

Today my son lived it.

Trust and Listen

Our cat Ben at the moment has the most nasty, deep, and horrid looking gash in his side. He has had it for a few days now and it has been only in the last 24 hours that I've taken a closer look at it and really started to notice it and him.

He hasn't been himself. Resting rather than out playing, staying close to home rather than venturing out and when he isn't doing that he is licking, cleaning and tending to his wound for the upteenth time.

Watching him has made me realise how in tune cats are to the nature of things and how amazing our bodies are including Ben's. I have no doubts that he will heal but I often wander would I heal the same?

If I were me would I listen to my body and do what its telling me or ignore it and go out and play anyway. Which I'm sure is what Ben would much rather be doing.

I can recall many times I haven't listened. Pushing myself that extra bit when my body is screaming at me to stop, to only end up injuring myself. Or the one I'm most guilty of, ignoring my body's plea for sleep to only stay up that extra hour and suffer the next day.

What I've learnt and am still learning is our bodies know and they communicate with us every day the only way they can, through feelings, symptoms, pain and pleasure.

Ben's injury has been a reminder to me to no longer ignore and think you know best but to instead trust and listen.

Be You. Everyone Else Is Already Taken

I’ve recently come to learn that there is no point in being anyone except who you are. So many of us try to be someone were not. We do it without even realising…

When you meet a new friend, apply for a new job or start dating someone new. You do it. We all do it ... be the person we think they want us to be not the person we are.

In the past I have done this. Believe me I have done this… I remember as a young girl pretending to like all sorts of things I didn’t just so he would accept me, love me and want to be with me. I remember pretending to be into hot rods and heavy metal music once. SO not me!!!!

But what I have learnt and what I know now is there is no way you can keep that shit up! The years and time I have wasted in my past turning myself into another’s persons view of me is crazy.

Now though, now I am me and you can love me or hate me but I am me, this is who I am and there is nothing more freeing than to be just that.

Be yourself everyone else is already taken.

What Can I Do To Help?

I helped a lady today. I saw her get up from where she was sitting and struggle to walk. She was heading towards the supermarket where I was with my trolley and my youngest son. Seeing her made me stop. It made me realise how grateful I am to have my mobility and health.

Seeing her struggle to walk I wanted to help but didn’t know how. What can I do? I thought. I had no idea, so I asked her. I went up to her and said ‘Can I help you in any way?. Her whole face lit up. Ihad noticed, I had seen her. Someone cared. 

She asked me if I could get her a trolley and bring it to her which I did and she was ever so grateful. Couldn’t stop thanking me. I wanted to do more and would have done her whole shop for her if I could have.  So I all I could do was tell her how many of us take our mobility and health for granted and don’t realise how good we have it until we see another who isn’t quite as fortunate. And I thanked her. Telling her it was the least I could do (get her trolley).

I walked away thinking about how many others would have seen her yet did nothing. It thought about the me a few years ago who would have done the exact same thing. Nothing!

Why? I would have been too afraid to ask and offer help. Worried about what she would think or say and at the very bottom of it all, I would have thought she was capable on her own.

But what I have learnt is people want to be helped. People need to be helped and people appreciate being helped. We all need to pen our hearts a little more, to see the many that are struggling and to stop and ask ourselves ‘what can I do to help?’….

The Truth About The Melbourne Cup

Its Melbourne Cup time again in Australia. (Melbourne Cup is a national horse race that takes place every year in November). It has become a bit of a national icon and is celebrated by many; even those who aren’t into the races will watch the race and places bets. Including me. Until a few years ago….

I no longer participate, support or have anything to do with the Melbourne Cup or any other horse race. Let me tell you why.

It wasn’t until a few years ago that I finally saw these races for the truth that they are – unnatural and cruel.  To think of all the years I have placed bets on horses hoping to win some cash is upsetting. I never once thought about the horses. I never once thought of their pain. I only thought of me.

Its not the only time I thought only of me. My past is full of selfish ways but I am slowly changing all that. I am also changing how in the past I would follow everything. I would do what everyone else did just because they were doing it and it’s the ‘done thing’ or to be cool (and this included participating in the Melbourne Cup) I only participated because everyone else did and therefore I had to, too. Not anymore. 

Now I question everything. I don’t do something because everyone else is doing it I do something because I want to do it and because I believe in it. I questioned the Melbourne cup and why I participated and at first felt like a hypocrite. I only bet once a year and even then I didn’t know what I was doing. Just chose the horse who had the best name. How stupid. This then led me to look into further, to open my heart up to it and when I did and what I discovered was upsetting (I will spare you the details).

So this year I will not be supporting the Cup, though many will and it’s the many that do that keep the race and the cruelty it supports alive. I may not stop a nation but I can stop me.

When The Lasagna Hits The Fan...

Tonight as I was making dinner the above happened. Ok not so dramatic but you get the idea.

I managed to spill and splatter the contents of an entire pot of bolognese sauce all over my kitchen cupboards, walls, floors and myself. There was a time in my life where I would have been mad. Where I would have blamed everyone within close proximity, yelled, sworn and it would have ruined my day. I'd have been angry for hours. Now, nope, not a thing.

As it happened I smiled and thought 'Oh well, great excuse to clean those cupboards!'. I even surprised myself with this thought and how far I've come. I don't know who or what puts these thoughts into my head but I love them. I much prefer these thoughts than the thoughts I use to possess. The thoughts of fear, anger and blame!

Today I was again reminded that you CAN your thoughts. It takes practice, it requires discipline but its possible and so worth it.

NEVER be ashamed to cry.

I love how in the moments I’m feeling sad, upset or down my children always lift me.

I had such moments today but I am proud to admit that instead of taking it out on everyone else I removed myself and found solace in the bathroom (which seems to be my going to place) and had a good cry.  

Its only something I have recently learnt to do – cry. Previously whenever I felt like crying I would try not to. I would force it away with all my might as I didn’t want to experience the pain of crying. But what I’ve learnt is that it doesn’t go away and instead returns disguised as anger!

I also dislike the sensation of not crying, the feeling it creates from holding it back to me is more painful than it is to cry. So today, I cried. On my own and it felt good.

We should all try and cry more in particular men. I feel for men who are taught and told not to cry. Told that crying is only for girls and babies. No. Let me correct this horrid belief, crying is for HUMANS, crying is an inbuilt ability that we have all been given. Crying is healthy. Crying is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. It takes a different kind of strength to cry a strength from deep within that knows your safe do so and that everything will be better when you do.

So today I am grateful to have released the tears that needed to be shed as I know they wont return later in ways I don’t want them to and I feel better, more refreshed and peaceful for doing so.

Do You Know Best?

Today I gave my youngest boys pikelets for lunch. My 17 month old had Jam and Cream – the only way to have them and my 4 year old, well he wanted vegemite and cream. 

I was about to say no and tell him that he had to have jam and cream as vegemite and cream would be disgusting and that it was a silly idea. But I stopped myself and thought about it and how often I do this. How often I insist that ‘my’ way is the right way. That I know best. I do, but I only know what’s best for ME, not others. 

Personally I couldn’t think of anything worse on a pikelet than vegemite and cream but for my 4 year old perhaps it was the best combo ever. So I made it - vegemite and cream and he ate the whole thing. 

Had I made him what I wanted and thought he should have had what would this tell him? On a deep level it would tell him that he doesn’t know what’s best for him, that he should always do what others tell him to do and not what he wants to do. Not a message I want to be teaching my boys…

I do it so often to, insist my way is right and that I know best, but I’m slowly learning and re teaching myself that I only know what’s best for me and not others.