Love Is. Broken Beads.

In the above photo is a gift I was given today. I want to tell you more about this gift and why its so special. I receive many of these ‘gifts’ all as unique and all just as special…

As some of you may know I visit an elderly lady weekly. I met her through a Red Cross Volunteer scheme and what a blessing it has been. It fills me with so much joy and the friendships I have since made are nothing but treasures.

Today I visited Olga again and shortly before leaving she dug into her bag and pulled out an old vicks container full of beads, many broken, and many covered in food.  Before this moment she had asked me if I liked craft and if I did then she had a gift for me. I’m not overly keen on craft but said I did as I knew how much it filled her with joy to give me a gift. So I accepted the gift. 

She often gives me these ‘useless items’,  a watch with only half its face, a calendar from 1992 and once she tried to give me an old lamp but due to its size (and the fact I wasn’t quite sure where it came from … did she steal it?) I declined. The one and only time I declined.

I always accept her gifts. Always. I always accept them because I know it’s her way of saying thank you. I know that as she has hardly no money and never leaves her nursing home she has very little to gift. I know that each time she gifts me with one of her ‘treasures’ she is really gifting me with little pieces of her heart. And I know that every time I accept her gifts it’s my way of saying you’re welcome, and you have a special place in my heart too. 

Love comes in many forms. Broken beads with food stuck on them included.

Its How You Re Tell The Story That Counts

“My mum told how she had learned to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That’s how she learned how to swim she said. I said, “Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim”.  Paula Poundstone.

I read this the other day and I loved it. I love it because it again showed me how our attitude and perception is everything.

Things will happen in life that we cannot control but one thing we can always  control - how we choose to respond and look at it. The power lies in us. People can hurt us (and unfortunately will) but we must remember that it is ‘us’ that permits ourselves to be hurt. That part is our choice. Our insides, our emotions, our feelings and our thoughts, they are ours. They are untouched if you allow them to be.

The Mirror Doesn't Lie. You Do!

 

Compliment yourself. Seriously. Do it.

I figure why expect someone else to make you feel good, loved and appreciated when you can easily do it yourself!

I'm not embarrased to admit, I do this. There was a time when no way would I ever have mentioned to others (never mind publicly blog about it on the internet) that I tell myself I'm fantastic and loved. I would have thought this was a sure sign of crazy and being up yourself. Perhaps I am crazy, I could even be what you would consider conceited. I can't be the judge on that, but I don't mind, someone has to play the part of crazy and it may as well be me.

What about me being conceited? Well that is merely just a judgement and someones opinion isn't it?

I decided to look up the meaning of the word conceited and this is what I found:

 "Having an excessively favorable opinion of one's abilities, appearance, etc." 

"Excessively proud of oneself"

"Holding or characterized by an unduly high opinion of oneself"

Are they really all such a bad thing?

Being too proud of yourself and being favorable over your own abilities. Whats better, its opposite!? To doubt your own abilities and yourself. Yep that must be better Ha. Anyway that is an entirely different post.The reason I'm sharing this is because it will change your life!

Look in the mirror and don't criticize what you see. Love what you see.

 It will be hard at first and you'll have all sorts of voices telling you the opposite. I know I did. But the voices eventually stop telling you how terrible you are (and also how stupid you are for doing this exercise!) and when they do you will look in the mirror and see the truth of who you are.

You will see that you are not the judgements and criticisms you tell yourself and hear but standing there in front of that mirror is a person as perfect as can be. A person who was made exactly as he or she should be. Love that person. I do

When The Lasagna Hits The Fan...

Tonight as I was making dinner the above happened. Ok not so dramatic but you get the idea.

I managed to spill and splatter the contents of an entire pot of bolognese sauce all over my kitchen cupboards, walls, floors and myself. There was a time in my life where I would have been mad. Where I would have blamed everyone within close proximity, yelled, sworn and it would have ruined my day. I'd have been angry for hours. Now, nope, not a thing.

As it happened I smiled and thought 'Oh well, great excuse to clean those cupboards!'. I even surprised myself with this thought and how far I've come. I don't know who or what puts these thoughts into my head but I love them. I much prefer these thoughts than the thoughts I use to possess. The thoughts of fear, anger and blame!

Today I was again reminded that you CAN your thoughts. It takes practice, it requires discipline but its possible and so worth it.

NEVER be ashamed to cry.

I love how in the moments I’m feeling sad, upset or down my children always lift me.

I had such moments today but I am proud to admit that instead of taking it out on everyone else I removed myself and found solace in the bathroom (which seems to be my going to place) and had a good cry.  

Its only something I have recently learnt to do – cry. Previously whenever I felt like crying I would try not to. I would force it away with all my might as I didn’t want to experience the pain of crying. But what I’ve learnt is that it doesn’t go away and instead returns disguised as anger!

I also dislike the sensation of not crying, the feeling it creates from holding it back to me is more painful than it is to cry. So today, I cried. On my own and it felt good.

We should all try and cry more in particular men. I feel for men who are taught and told not to cry. Told that crying is only for girls and babies. No. Let me correct this horrid belief, crying is for HUMANS, crying is an inbuilt ability that we have all been given. Crying is healthy. Crying is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. It takes a different kind of strength to cry a strength from deep within that knows your safe do so and that everything will be better when you do.

So today I am grateful to have released the tears that needed to be shed as I know they wont return later in ways I don’t want them to and I feel better, more refreshed and peaceful for doing so.

Life is About Living.

Life is about living. You are alive to live. No other reason are you here than to live your life. Your probably thinking but I am living it! But are you?

Years ago I too thought I was living life but I was merely existing. Watching everyday go past, some days were good others bearable.

Now? Well every day is amazing. A big call, yes, and my days haven’t changed at all. But I have changed.

I still get unwell, tired and cranky, have bills to pay. My children rip each other apart on a regularly basis and I have days where I feel unloved and under-appreciated but what is different now is that I know how precious life is. I know each of these things are a blessing to experience, but on top of it all I know how lucky I am to be here. Alive in this life and to have all I have.

In any situation you are in no matter how terrible, how awful, painful or depressing I can guarantee that someone out there is doing it much worse. You are a lucky one. You have so much in your life to be grateful for and that is what I live for. That is what I love and that is how I have changed.

I no longer see life as against me but for me. I see everything in my life as a gift even the so called ‘crappy’ stuff as I have found it’s the ‘crappy’ stuff that has always helped land me into the good. To live is to appreciate it all - the good, the bad and to be grateful that you’re here in this life. Alive.