I Was Once ....

Today I took a trip down memory lane. It wasn't a very long trip because it is a memory that will never leave me. It is so much a part of who I am today and I live with this memory daily as it continues to affect my life both positively and negatively.

I was once fat. Not a little porky but fat. I spent many years overweight and those who went to highschool with me probably remember me this way. I don't even think I've ever shared this my partner Luke as for some reason I've been too ashamed to admit it. Perhaps fear that he would no longer love me.  However I musn't be as today I was thinking about how much of a blessing it was. It taught me how strong I am and how any one of us can change.

So today I am grateful to all those people in highschool who teased me, hurt me, bullied me and made me fear going to school. But above all who made me hate myself. I thank you. I sincerely thank you because had you not have made me hate myself I never would have learnt to love myself.

They say you have to reach rock bottom before you make your way to the top. Well that was my rock bottom and since then I have been climbing my way back to the top. Never lose faith. The only way up is from down.

I also must add to anyone who is facing weight problems. It is ok. You are ok. You are not your body anymore than you are the clothes you wear. You are that sparkle of light that shines from the inside. Let it shine and all else will fade away.

We All Have Prickles

Today  I learnt that lemon trees have prickles. I know this to be so because today whilst pulling weeds from around its base I was struck by a thorn.  This then had me thinking ....

Don't we all have prickles?

I know I do. Those 'thorns' I put up to protect myself and keep people out. To stop people from getting too close and from fear of them seeing my true nature. But is this a good thing?


I like to think it isn't.

Like today with the lemon tree, I was only there to help it but instead walked away bleeding. Perhaps by putting up my own thorns I too have sent people walking away bleeding.

From this day forward I choose to forgo my thorns and allow what life has me to receive be given.

Out With The Old

Today I decided to clean out my clothes closet and every time I do I am reminded how blessed I am to have the amount of clothes I do. Its ridiculous.

However in the past year or two I have culled down an enormous amount. I have donated bags upon bags of clothes I no longer wear or would only ever wear once. 

You see I use to be one of those people. The person who keeps everything 'just in case'. To afraid to let any of it go. You know the items. The jeans you swear you'll get back into or that top that you wore once years ago that looked fantastic and cost you a fortune.

This was all unil recently when I learnt how freeing it is to let go of all that stuff go.I guess its symbolic of life.

We hold onto so much stuff when its that much easier to let it all go. The grudges, the anger, the hate and those petty little things that annoy you.

So like my cupboard I am going to start to cleaning out my life. Out with the old and letting go of those things that no longer matter and no longer serve me. And in with the new.  The things that make me happy, joyful and help me be a better person because ....

 Its only when you let go do you allow room for something more amazing to enter.

What are you holding onto?

It Isn't Always About Me.

I had a list of things to do today. All involving me. Your probably familiar with such lists. On it was a visit to the shops, cleaning the house, call/visit a friend, facebook time, etc. All these activities were about me and I was either going to drag my kids along with me or expect them to entertain themselves while I attended to the list.

I then stopped and thought to myself  ...

Is this all important?

I immediately answered and found myself saying a huge NO.

What is important is my boys. They are my life. They are mine on loan to guide in this life, to enjoy, to help grow into men. They are not mine to drag around and 'accompany' my life as a sauce does a meatpie.

It was in that moment I decided to devote the day to them. I asked my 4 year old what he wanted to do. He said he wanted to draw. So today I drew. I didn't call that friend, I didn't clean out that cupboard I had promised myself I would and facebook survived without me.

I learnt today. I learnt again that its the simple things that matter in this life. We often make big lists of all things we should be doing. But is it important? Most the time its not. What is important is the memories you make and create not the goals you achieve. That is what I learnt today.

* The photo you see is one of the pictures I drew today with my 4 year old. My boys often draw and give me their creations. Today  I gave my drawing to my 4 year old  and  he  put it here on display. Bless that boys heart <3

Flower Or A Weed.

"The difference between a flower and a weed is only a judgement"

I remember the first time I heard that quote. It really struck a cord with me. We hear sayings and quotes all the time but there are always some over others that remain with you. That was one that did for me.

I loved it because it is so true. Something we call a 'weed' and remove from our gardens are only that because we say it is, or because we are told it is. To the eye of many it is still just as beautiful. Like my 4 year old for example.
 
The flower you see in the picture is a weed. A weed called Patersons Curse. It is also a flower that I am given on a regular basis from my 4 year old. He loves to pick me flowers and as we have no flowers in our garden and only weeds this is all he can pick. And every time he does he tells me how beautiful it is and that it is the prettiest purple flower in our garden.

 Isn't that just beautiful?  As an adult we would immediately label it saying 'oh he's picked some Patersons Curse' yet to him this flower has not yet formed a label. It is a flower like any other flower, it has petels, is brightly coloured and lives in gardens.

So much can be learnt from children. I love their purity, their freshness and outlook on life. They do not judge, they do not label.

When was the last time you called something a weed when in fact it was only a flower with a label? 

I love Silence

Silence is music to my ears. Which is funny since silence isn't music at all. In fact its no sound. But I love it.

As a mother of three young children - all boys. I crave silence. Silence is where I find my peace. It relaxes me, rejuvenates me and fills me with a sense of calm like nothing else.  Silence is a massage for my ears.

If you ever get a chance to sit in silence and just be then do. I assure you it will be music to your ears. Music your ears never knew they could hear. 

The Judgements We Make.

I like to think of myself as a person who doesn't judge another. I like to think that I am not racist, sexist, ageist and all those other 'ists' that are out there. However the other day I learnt that I too am guilty of judging others based on their appearance.

 The other week I was in my local store and wanted to buy a bunch of flowers. I  walked past one bunch of flowers that were really really cheap and reduced for 'quick sale'. They were dying. No one was going to buy them not even me. They were wilted and had at most a day or two in them.

I went on to search for a better bunch of flowers. Some with more life and zest when I all of a sudden felt for them and their fate. I knew they would be binned and thrown away for good and never given the chance to shine.

I realised in this moment that I had judged them and labeled them no good. I had added to their fate by walking straight past them and leaving them to die. That is when I decided to give them a chance.

 I believed in them. I bought them there and then and told them I believed in them and that I would give them a chance. That I would give them a  home and somewhere for them to shine even if only for a day or two.

I took the bunch of flowers home and set them up on my little dining table in a beautiful vase. I gave them clean water daily, I admired them, I cared for them. I loved them. Well what happened next was incredible. They bloomed.

They not only bloomed but they regained all their life  and went onto live for another 2 weeks. My longest standing flowers yet.

Those flowers did so much more than just add colour to my home. They taught me two lessons about life.

1. Never be so quick as to judge another based only on their appearance: and
2. That if you give someone enough love, enough support and believe in them they too will flourish and shine just as my flowers did.

I honestly believe that flowers, trees and all life are connected. We are all one and in this life together.

We all coexist on this earth and share the same air, the same soil, the same sunlight and rain. So just as we would want someone to believe in and love us so do the plants, flowers, trees, birds and animals.

Babies Have No Clouds

This morning I took my youngest still a baby out shopping with me. I love taking him. He is at an age where if I'm honest, he enjoys it more then me. He happily sits in the shopping trolley smiling at everyone, laughing at nothing and grabbing at everything. It is just the cutest age.

Today at the shops with him was like every other time I am out with him.  People were drawn to him. They would smile at him, talk to him, touch him anything to get a little piece of that baby-ness. This of course had me thinking ....

What is it about babies that we all love so much? And it isn't just my baby either. Its all babies and I often find that I too am swept up in their magnetic charm.

So what is about them that makes them so different to any other person?

I think its that we see our own purity and our own innocence in them. We see what we once were but have since forgotten. In them we see that part of us that is pure love and joy.

The good news is that this part of us, well its still there. It never left. Its just being clouded with every day worries and concerns.

All we need is to see through the clouds and allow them to lift and when they do our true essence will be revealed - just like babies. Babies aren't clouded and that is why we love them so.

Old People. They Stop.

I learn't something today. Old people. They stop.

I was thinking about this tonight after my trip earlier in the day to a local shopping center. It was just an average trip but something not so average occurred. So many random strangers struck up conversations with me.

There was a time and place in my life when this would be my worst nightmare. Having to stop and listen to some person I don't know go on about mundane things. But now I love it. I love connecting with people and will often go out of my way to start up a random conversation with another. So when someone does this to me I am delighted.

Today was different. I didn't start one conversation. I was to wrapped up in my own little world and didn't have the time. I didn't stop. But someone did. In fact many did.

 I sat thinking about this tonight as it was so odd the amount of people who went out of their way to talk to me. Then I realised something - all of the people who struck up a conversation with me had one thing in common. Their age. They were all elderly. I'd say over 60 at least.

Why is that?

The only answer I could come up with is time. We in our younger years are all trying to get somewhere, to be somewhere, to do something or to get something. Older people, well they've been. They've arrived. They have the time. They stop.

There was a message in my day and I learnt tonight that I too must stop. To stop trying to get some place else other than where I am now. To enjoy my life now as it is.

Why wait until I'm old and grey and my life almost over to stop and enjoy it when I could be enjoying it now.

Teeth. Today I loved them.

 

Today whilst driving and eating an apple I all of a sudden became extremely grateful and aware of my teeth. 

Unit now I had never really given my teeth much thought. I just go about my day, eating, talking and doing what I do and the whole while my teeth are right there with me. So today as I chomped down hard on my super crunchy apple I thought of my teeth and how I loved them and what they do. But mostly I loved that I had teeth.

Its the simple things as I say and without my simple things such as my teeth, life would be a hell of a lot different and not to mention more difficult. So today I was grateful for my teeth and the very fact I had some.

What were you grateful for today? 

 

Rain, Rain, Rain. Don't Wish It Away.

Rain. I love it. Never use to but I do now.

I love the smell of it, the sound of it, the way it makes me feel and of course what it does for us all and this earth.

I am grateful for the glorious rain that poured down on me from above today as it had me thinking ....

Why does rain have such a bad reputation?

Rain is glorious. Why let something that is simply only just drops of water ruin your plans? I know I don't.

Years ago I remember walking my dog in the rain. It wasn't just light rain either, but the full on, its going to storm soon rain. We got wet. Really wet but so what? It wasn't painful although by some of the looks I was getting you could have sworn I was out walking the dog naked.

I still remember that day. My dog loved his walks, he wanted one every morning. This morning was no different except that it was raining and hard. I went to tell him 'Sorry buddy not today its raining' then I stopped and asked myself "why not? - why not walk him?"

My dog obviously didn't care or was giving it any second thought so why should I?  It was only water and what is the worst that could happen? I'd get wet.

Well I did get wet. I got soaked. But you know what I loved most. That I did it. That I made my dog one very happy dog that morning and in return I gained a beautiful insight. That nothing is ever as bad as it seems and after the rain comes a rainbow.

My rainbow that morning was the feeling it gave me.  The strength inside myself that I didn't know I had when I went against everything I had ever been told about going out in the rain. And I didn't even catch a cold .... who would have thought.

So as the wonderful Bob Marley said ...

"Some people feel the rain, others just get wet".  That morning I felt the rain.