We so often base our own self worth from the opinions of others. I know in the past I have always done this and
its only now that I’m starting to realise that I am worthy just by being me.
When I was younger I remember going to clubs, mainly to get
drunk so that I would have the courage to approach guys and hopefully find one
to call my own. I needed one to love me and want me before I could be worth
something.
On those nights many
young men rejected me. I would leave feeling utterly worthless, that I was not
worthy of love and due to this rejection there must have been something so obviously
wrong with me. I was faulty.
I can almost laugh about it now and see how messed up this
was. Because I know that who I am is worth so much more than another’s opinion
and approval. I am stronger now.
At the time the constant rejection was very hard but I am
grateful for it. Had I been loved and accepted every time I probably never
would have been left to find the love I most deserve – my own. I would have
throughout my entire life seeked others to love me for me to feel worthy of
something.
I have no idea why I’m sharing this really, it’s just something
I know now that I wish I’d know then.
I think of the many young girls and boys
in this world who everyday battle with their own self esteem issues. I think of
the young girls who feel as though they are nothing and not worth a thing
because they aren’t loved, haven’t got a boyfriend or popular with many
friends. My heart goes out to them because I remember their pain. But I also
know their future and it will be worth living for.
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