Love YOURSELF As You Love Others.

I heard and read again today “love others as you love yourself” and I couldn’t help but question it and think it should in fact be the other way around … “love yourself as you love others”.

I’m not sure about you but I know (in the past) I have always treated other people much nicer than I do myself. No way would I ever tell someone they are stupid, fat, ugly, hopeless, could do much better etc yet this is exactly what I told myself all the time.

Am I right? Think about it. Think about how you treat your friends and loved ones. Now think about how you treat yourself. Is it equal? Are you as supportive, kind and loving to yourself as you are to a stranger in the street or your best friend? You should be!

So that’s why I say “love YOURSELF as you do others” and not the other way around.

Trust and Listen

Our cat Ben at the moment has the most nasty, deep, and horrid looking gash in his side. He has had it for a few days now and it has been only in the last 24 hours that I've taken a closer look at it and really started to notice it and him.

He hasn't been himself. Resting rather than out playing, staying close to home rather than venturing out and when he isn't doing that he is licking, cleaning and tending to his wound for the upteenth time.

Watching him has made me realise how in tune cats are to the nature of things and how amazing our bodies are including Ben's. I have no doubts that he will heal but I often wander would I heal the same?

If I were me would I listen to my body and do what its telling me or ignore it and go out and play anyway. Which I'm sure is what Ben would much rather be doing.

I can recall many times I haven't listened. Pushing myself that extra bit when my body is screaming at me to stop, to only end up injuring myself. Or the one I'm most guilty of, ignoring my body's plea for sleep to only stay up that extra hour and suffer the next day.

What I've learnt and am still learning is our bodies know and they communicate with us every day the only way they can, through feelings, symptoms, pain and pleasure.

Ben's injury has been a reminder to me to no longer ignore and think you know best but to instead trust and listen.

Fed By Spoon.

I took Olga out over the weekend, the elderly lady who I visit weekly through a volunteer program and whilst out I happened to feed her with a spoon. As I was feeding her chocolate cake I had a moment and realised that this, right here, right now, is love. I had an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for her, me and all of this.  How in life as babies we are all fed from spoons and yet later in life it returns again, this time being fed by the kindness of others.

As I was feeding Olga and watching her happily accept it from me I started thinking how it was only a year ago we met. We were complete strangers and now here we are out sharing chocolate cake and spoons.  

People assume we are family and I’m her granddaughter and I love that. I love the bond that two complete strangers can form in such a short time. Love is that bond and I believe it ties us all whether we are related, strangers or know each other at all.

Be You. Everyone Else Is Already Taken

I’ve recently come to learn that there is no point in being anyone except who you are. So many of us try to be someone were not. We do it without even realising…

When you meet a new friend, apply for a new job or start dating someone new. You do it. We all do it ... be the person we think they want us to be not the person we are.

In the past I have done this. Believe me I have done this… I remember as a young girl pretending to like all sorts of things I didn’t just so he would accept me, love me and want to be with me. I remember pretending to be into hot rods and heavy metal music once. SO not me!!!!

But what I have learnt and what I know now is there is no way you can keep that shit up! The years and time I have wasted in my past turning myself into another’s persons view of me is crazy.

Now though, now I am me and you can love me or hate me but I am me, this is who I am and there is nothing more freeing than to be just that.

Be yourself everyone else is already taken.

What Can I Do To Help?

I helped a lady today. I saw her get up from where she was sitting and struggle to walk. She was heading towards the supermarket where I was with my trolley and my youngest son. Seeing her made me stop. It made me realise how grateful I am to have my mobility and health.

Seeing her struggle to walk I wanted to help but didn’t know how. What can I do? I thought. I had no idea, so I asked her. I went up to her and said ‘Can I help you in any way?. Her whole face lit up. Ihad noticed, I had seen her. Someone cared. 

She asked me if I could get her a trolley and bring it to her which I did and she was ever so grateful. Couldn’t stop thanking me. I wanted to do more and would have done her whole shop for her if I could have.  So I all I could do was tell her how many of us take our mobility and health for granted and don’t realise how good we have it until we see another who isn’t quite as fortunate. And I thanked her. Telling her it was the least I could do (get her trolley).

I walked away thinking about how many others would have seen her yet did nothing. It thought about the me a few years ago who would have done the exact same thing. Nothing!

Why? I would have been too afraid to ask and offer help. Worried about what she would think or say and at the very bottom of it all, I would have thought she was capable on her own.

But what I have learnt is people want to be helped. People need to be helped and people appreciate being helped. We all need to pen our hearts a little more, to see the many that are struggling and to stop and ask ourselves ‘what can I do to help?’….

The Truth About The Melbourne Cup

Its Melbourne Cup time again in Australia. (Melbourne Cup is a national horse race that takes place every year in November). It has become a bit of a national icon and is celebrated by many; even those who aren’t into the races will watch the race and places bets. Including me. Until a few years ago….

I no longer participate, support or have anything to do with the Melbourne Cup or any other horse race. Let me tell you why.

It wasn’t until a few years ago that I finally saw these races for the truth that they are – unnatural and cruel.  To think of all the years I have placed bets on horses hoping to win some cash is upsetting. I never once thought about the horses. I never once thought of their pain. I only thought of me.

Its not the only time I thought only of me. My past is full of selfish ways but I am slowly changing all that. I am also changing how in the past I would follow everything. I would do what everyone else did just because they were doing it and it’s the ‘done thing’ or to be cool (and this included participating in the Melbourne Cup) I only participated because everyone else did and therefore I had to, too. Not anymore. 

Now I question everything. I don’t do something because everyone else is doing it I do something because I want to do it and because I believe in it. I questioned the Melbourne cup and why I participated and at first felt like a hypocrite. I only bet once a year and even then I didn’t know what I was doing. Just chose the horse who had the best name. How stupid. This then led me to look into further, to open my heart up to it and when I did and what I discovered was upsetting (I will spare you the details).

So this year I will not be supporting the Cup, though many will and it’s the many that do that keep the race and the cruelty it supports alive. I may not stop a nation but I can stop me.