You Cannot Plan Life...

 

This morning I had planned to do many things. I had a limited time of 2 hours to do so and had jam packed as much as I could into this time slot. So off I went to do my gazillion things when I missed my turn off on the parkway. Not the end of the world but I had to take an alternative route which then led me into the world’s worst traffic jam. And there I was. Me and my 16 months old and every other person who had ended up on this road.

I was there for over 30 mins and as each minute passed I could feel myself get more and more agitated. I had things that needed doing, I didn’t have time for this and it to top it off I was completely in the opposite direction of where I wanted to go. As I felt myself getting more and more annoyed I looked to the backseat and saw my 16 month old just sitting there happily waiting patiently. He was the embodiment of patience.

It was in that moment that I realised I had choice. To let this situation get the better of me or to perhaps see that it was a lesson for me to practice patience, mindfulness and to somehow see the good in it all. So I looked for the good.

Out the window I saw the most amazing view of mountains on this road that I had never noticed before, I realised that being in this traffic jam had given me more time to listen to the mp3 recording I had playing in the car. But what most got me through was when I remembered what I truly believe and that is that everything happens for a divine reason. I knew there was a reason my plans had been shifted and I had to trust in that reason.

Today again taught me a very true lesson in life and one that I seem to be continually given and that is …. you cannot plan life so don’t even try! I so often try to ‘plan’ my days and by doing so I limit so many other opportunities. I tend to always want things ‘my way’ and freak out when they don’t go that way. So today I’m grateful for the 1 hour I spent just sitting and learning this lesson again.

Do You Judge Others...?

When someone walks into a room I don’t notice the clothes they are wearing, their nationality or race I see them. I see a person who is just like me, someone who wants to be loved and accepted.

We all judge, we’d be lying if we said we didn’t. However what I’m consciously trying to do  and have been for sometime is trying to no longer judge and its possible!

I very rarely notice a judgmental thought about another these days. Instead I only see beauty, the good in people and the positive. It wasn’t always like this. It was only when I started noticing judgmental thoughts or opinions of mine come up and deciding to no longer pay attention to them, that they slowly started to disappear. I cancel them out and replace with a new one. 

For example I remember a few months ago I was driving the boys to school when I noticed a young boy walking to school. In my head I heard ‘my god he is fat’. I was shocked, it was so mean and I immediately cancelled that one out and replaced it with  ‘but how great is it that he is walking to school, what great exercise and a healthy thing to do’.  

I’m grateful thoughts like the above are very few these days but it’s only because I no longer see others this way. I see them as people who are just like me each fighting their own battles and all wanting nothing but to be loved and accepted.

 I have found that since judging others less I also judge myself less. I am happier, others are happier around me and it’s an all over happy place. I remember thinking we can’t help but judge but lately I’ve learnt you can!

Love Is Seen Not Heard ..

I read the other day that when you think of love it isn’t words that come to mind but moments. This had me thinking about my own life and my own moments where I have seen love. I’d thought I’d share a couple that instantly came to mind ….

After being in labour for 24 hours with my first child (and not telling anyone I was in labour) I was being rushed out of my room for an emergency caesarean. As I was laying on the bed being rushed out as fast as the doctors could I saw my entire family sitting outside the waiting room, where they had been all day. It was midnight.

I remember the look on their faces, concern, love, anticipation and excitement a moment I will never forget. That is love and it was my brother’s face I remember most. That my brother was there and at that hour where he had been waiting for who knows how long despite that he would normally be in bed by 9 and up before dawn, he was there…

Love is every Christmas for as long as I can remember my mum always making the day about us kids and never ever about her even though it was her birthday.

Love is when my partner and I first started dating and all his friends told him that I wasn’t good for him and he was better off without me. Love is him following his heart and going against the friends he had known for many years compared to the few weeks he had known me.

Love is my father taking our beloved dog and family member Brian to the vet to be put to sleep and out of his misery because he was the only one strong enough to do so.

Love is when my eldest was given money for his birthday and him giving it to me telling me he wants me to give it to poor people.

Love is everywhere and is always seen and never heard. It is in the actions we make, not the statements we state ♥

Nothing Seperates. WE Seperate.

I often say that we are all one and nothing separates us. No religion race or colour, we are all human. All here to share, to love and to learn. I was thinking of a great example of this today. If a man has fallen and lay hurting on the ground and reaches to you for help or if a child falls into a body of water unable to swim and is slowing drowning.  What do you do? 

Do you not jump in to save the child? Do you not bend down to help the injured man? 

Or do you keep walking because that child or man is Muslim, Catholic, African, Asian or homosexual?  No.

We are all humans. We all suffer, we all experience pain and we all want love. So why do we separate and box each other into groups?

 Maybe I’m unusual but when I look at another I don’t see their label, I see the soul within. The part of them that is just like me.

The Love Of A Bird ....

I witnessed something earlier today that reminded me that love touches us all. All beings and no matter if we have fur, skin or feathers, love is the centre of who we are ....

Whilst driving the boys to the park I noticed a bird on the road flapping about - a magpie. I thought he must have been hit by a car and was trying to fly back up from the ground and was unable to. However on closer inspection I noticed that this magpie was not injured. He was trying with all his might to pick up his friend, another magpie, who lay lifeless on the road. That magpie had been hit.

This was heartbreaking for me to witness, yet as I drove further down the road I realised the amazing beauty in what I had just witnessed. I witnessed love at its deepest level. A love that would risk its own life for  that of another.

That bird today reminded me that it isn't only us humans who walk this earth with hearts but those with feathers, fur, and scales too. We all share this earth and those that are born into this world will also depart it and when they do it matters, no matter who you are.

Do You Have A Toothache ...?

I read something interesting today and it got me thinking ....

When we have a toothache we long to not have one anymore. To be free of the pain and throbbing and for it all to end so that peace and happiness can return.

How many of us have a toothache right now ..?

I was thinking about this very thing today and realised in every moment there is something I am to be grateful for. Right now its a perfectly functioning body (even if its not the perefect weight, size, shape or height) its mine and it works!

I'm grateful today that I don't have a toothache and that I'm free of pain.

What The Carrot Taught Me

Halfway through eating a carrot today I stopped and looked at it. Really looked at it and noticed something I had never noticed before. I was amazed by its beauty. Within the carrot on its inside was the most beautiful star shape formation.

It reminded me today to stop. To take notice. It showed me how little I notice in life and how I'm always in a rush get somewhere, to be somewhere I'm not.

I realised today that when I'm eating most the time I'm thinking about something else. What to eat next or what I will do when I'm finished.  When I'm driving I'm never thinking about the drive itself and being in the car but on where I'm going and how soon I will get there.

I realised today that for me it's always about there and never about here. The carrot today reminded me that beauty is always found now in the moment, never there in the future. The 'there' in the future is always in your head and no joy can ever be felt there.

What Is A Soul Mate ...?

Someone recently commented on a photo of my partner and I saying that we look like soul mates and it got me thinking ...

I honestly believe that your soul mate isn't someone who is exactly like you. It isn't someone who loves all the things you love, who has the same interests, or the same dreams and inspirations, that's a friend, not a soul mate.

A soul mate is someone who brings out your worst side but also your best. Someone who at times you can't stand to be with or near and this is good thing. A good thing because in that moment they are testing you and your love for them. True love will stand there, everything else walks away.
A soul mate is someone who you can be at your worst with and say the things you'd never say to another. Mean things even. They are your soul mate because you know that when you do (as mentioned above) they will not walk away. They will stand there, accept you, and forgive you.

That to me is a soul mate.

They come in different packages and are always a reflection of you, not a mirror. A mirror would mean finding someone who is, well, exactly you and that would be boring. A reflection is someone who returns and reflects back to you what you give.

If you give the relationship love, trust and all other nice things then naturally they will be reflected and returned back to you. If you give the opposite, well watch what reflects back.

I Would Be A Lesbian If ....

Last night I dreamt I was a lesbian. Believe me when I say it wasn’t a pleasant dream.  When I woke it reminded me how in my teen years I questioned if I actually were one.

I questioned it because in high school I was constantly told that I was one.  And at a time when you’re still finding your place in the world and when who you are, and what you are, is based on what others tell you, naturally you’d question it. So I did. 

I began to assume that as I was very close to some of my girlfriends and boys were never interested in me that I must have been. I wasn’t of course, but I figured I may have been and just hadn’t fully realized it yet.

This memory of mine today reminded me how important it is to believe in yourself. To trust in your own self, your feelings and what they tell you.  Deep down I knew I liked boys but there was still this fear that those who told me I was a lesbian knew better.  And perhaps because I did like my girlfriends as much as I did, I was in fact a lesbian and should probably learn to accept it. Imagine if I had!

No one ever knows you better than you know yourself and what I’ve since learnt is to trust in that person. To trust in you. To never let another person tell you how you should live your life and what it is you should be doing with it. You and only you make that choice, always <3